You have an ability to change your life, to live like you want. To do that you must stay concentrated on things that you do. You must give up to please others and do what you are made for. Every choice has a price to pay. If you know the price and are ready to pay it, that means that you can achieve your goals. I propose you to get motivated on Goingtothink.com by improving your life areas one by one and getting to your goals. If you need help, feel free to contact me, I will be glad to give you a friendly, free advice !
Thank god it’s Friday! Make of your weekend a real zen and joyful event. We women don’t stop working ever. As our days off are here, we need to do lot and a lot of things at home. Her’s how to stop this and have a really nice days off!
Plan your time
Many are using now time planning cell phone applications who basically help to remember your tasks and set the time when to do them. It is not a bad idea. But you can use an agenda or just a sheet of paper to do it.
Start by planning your week. Don’t forget to include the home tasks between others. This is a work too so don’t let yourself do all this on your free time! Even if you are tired after work, do at least one small homework every day. It might be the morning before you go to work or any other time. Think if you could even stand up some 20 minutes earlier the morning to do it.
Search for helpers
And right away I will not agree – this is not help that you need. Actually home-tasks should be done by all family members at least if you are not a housewife. This is not a help, it’s a common family life. You work, your partner works, children go to school – so each one some part of home work.
You want that things are well done, so that’s why you don’t want any helpers. The floor won’t be so clean and dinner won’t be as you planned. Let it go! Let it be as it is, they can do things too and that might bring pleasure to everyone. You don’t need to control everything – be a team member, not a leader. Get fun all together – that’s the most important.
Plan your weekend
If you have two days off, you can plan that time too – a little bit for your family and a little bit for you. Plan an afternoon with your kids – go out for a walk or play games together. But don’t forget to take the other afternoon for you! Go out for coffee with your friend or with your partner. A great afternoon for yourself can be an afternoon home alone. Do your beauty rituals in the bathroom, make yourself a huge cup of aromatic thee with honey and watch a film that you wouldn’t watch with your family.
Because we, women need to take up energy. You are the energy of the family and if You will feel good, relaxed and positive, your family will feel like that too.
You are doing well. You are doing a lot. Only you can do things like they should be. Aren’t you a perfectionist? Lets settle two kinds of perfectionists:
Perfectionists in their professional life make themselves a possibility to achieve more. Here all depends on your work. If you are a project manager, a leader and concentrate your perfectionism on achieving the global goals, perfectionism will surely lead you to success. This quality helps you to see a global picture and achieve it in the best ways. Many successful people are perfectionists. If you are in this category, go on, keep improving in your work!
If you are a part of some structure, you are working for a bigger project, but not leading it, perfectionism might cause you more stress then success. More and better you will perform, more work you will do instead of others. You will rise expectations on your performance and will have to work harder than others for the same wage. Try to find a balance – do your job well but not instead of others.
Perfectionism in the private life – to get rid off
Perfectionism in your everyday life can only guide to a low self esteem and depression. Actually you tend to look perfect, to keep your home perfect because you want to look perfect in the eyes of others. And when you’re not able to be at the top, you feel bad. You are able even to avoid seeing friends or to invite people at home. This is the type of perfectionism that you should avoid. If you have real friends, they will understand that you are busy and won’t even pay attention to your imperfections.
And the most important – only the perfectionists will judge others for their imperfections. That means that you set yourself high limits and you are not happy with yourself if you can’t reach them. But people who are not like you, won’t judge you like you would.
What to do to stop being perfectionist?
Your physical appearance – get ready for the day in the morning. The first thing before any other – you get yourself ready for all day. You don’t need to re-do your make-up several times. Try to be natural, buy yourself only clothes that you like very much. Get rid of the clothes that doesn’t fit you or you don’t feel free and comfortable in. This will help you to be on the Top always.
Your home – don’t let it be too messy. Keep it in order all the time so that you don’t have to invest a lots of work to clean up each time. Maybe only you can clean it as perfect as you like, but let some work to the others of your family too. A little bit for children, a little bit for your partner and it’s not tragic that it won’t be perfect. At least it will be done and you will have more time to enjoy your life.
There are many genius people who are succeeding in their work and financial life being perfectionists in this, but the house stays messy all the week awaiting for a payed cleaner on the Sunday. They don’t waste the time to clean up home, because they are better paid in their professional work. And to be successful in the work, they need to be happy together with their beloved ones, not wasting the time in making perfect things that doesn’t actually matter.
Please share with us – Are You a Perfectionist? How do You feel it? Because Your opinion matters! Thank You so much!
Would you die happy today?! You don’t know when your life journey ends.
You are a woman, a busy woman as the most of us. You have been at work all day, you have done the laundry, homework with kids, you have prepared the dinner and payed the last bills. Today you didn’t have time to clean your home and to rest. But it’s ok, weekend is coming, you’ll clean up after you’ll be done your second work the Saturday morning and after you’ll be taking kids to extracurricular activities. Maybe even you’ll go to see your friends the evening, just you’ll have to do some quick shopping before to have some to bring with you. And that’s not all…
You are happy when all is done and maybe Sunday you could sit down with your children on the coach. But maybe not this week.., because you have the new project and you have to review your homework before Monday?
Why all this? Is this the fault of your man who only works? Is this the society that makes you doing all of this? Are you happy to be at this rush? If you are in this situation, the answer is YES! It makes you happy! Or you think that you don’t have choice? You have the choice!
Do you know Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs in psychology? Physiological needs come first. One of our physical need is the rest. But we are turning the pyramid upside down. We, women will do all the other things before our comfort.
If you have ever taken the airplane you know the plane instructions in a case of crush; put on the life vest before putting it to children. That means that if you will put the vest to the children first, they may not survive too, because you will not survive. Probably. You’ll not be there to help them anymore.
You know actually why you are doing all this, hein? More you do, bigger will be the satisfaction when all your aims will be done. The Sunday evening you will sit down on the coach really satisfied. To restart your race the Monday… Is it worth of it? Of course not. So what to do?
Make your aims smaller and make a Sunday evening each day. If you won’t put your life vest at time, you’ll be lost. Maybe the house won’t be so clean and children won’t do so many sports. If you have a partner and you both work, cooking, laundry, bills and children are not only your responsibility. Even if he’s not so good as you at those things, it’s OK. Perfect is when you have time to rest. Turn back Your pyramid and enjoy the simple happiness. If you will not ask so much of yourself, you will ask less from others as well. Perfectionist time is done… for a cause.
Please share the post and write in a comment or e-mail me – what makes you happy. Really would like to see Your opinion! Thank You !
If you know exactly what you want, but can’t start, here’s what I want you to do: Stop searching and reading, get to the job! And you must get it done today, at least… it must begin today.
You are original and you must do it on your own way
First you have to try it out and do some further research after – if needed. Why? Because inspiring by others is a great source of ideas but it sets your limits by ideas of other people. You are risking to loose your own originality. You risk to box yourself into existing and don’t let your genius break the borders. If you look back in history – every inventor, new genius broke the limits, they were first considered as a foolish. No matters what you are up to, remember – You are original and you must do it on your own way. Because you will not sell one more copy of already existing. The market of today is overloaded.
The second is not to be afraid to be a fool. Being a fool for ones means being a genius for others. That’s the old brakes that keep plenty of people away from their dreams – being afraid of what others will say.
Believe in yourself
I remember myself in such situations when I was scared of opinion of others and was ready to stop all action immediately. I had this feeling because I did not believe in myself. Even if I knew that it is not hard to do, I thought ”my God, what will they think, they will look at me as to an idiot”. I did not realize that All situation depends on perception. It depends ”how you sell the thing.”
You have the only ability to guide your life path. There is no other person who can make the good decision in your place – only in a case if you let it be. Don’t do it, take your life in your hands and concentrate on what shall be done, do it without hesitation. You are the writer of your history, instead of thinking of what others think, make sure not to disappoint yourself.
Let’s see an example: imagine, if you would be a real estate agent (with all stereotypes that it incorporates), people will come to you because they can’t find their house in another way. If you will talk to them in a small voice, tell only the facts and numbers, won’t be confident in yourself they will count it unprofessional, will think that you are there only to get your percent, and they will leave you as soon as possible to see another agent. If you will be able to sell them a whole story of a nice area, let them understand that you will guide them in this occasion, help with a professional advice, they will believe in you, they will see that you don’t take your percent for nothing. Even better, if earlier they might have any negative opinion on your profession, now they would be glad to meet you. You see that in these two situations the result of What people think of you – is crucial – to get the deal or not. But all the difference is in your attitude and choice – being self-confident or not. Staying in the right profession or not…
Others will believe too
So remember to get your inspiration on your own way and get started immediately. So many people don’t see outside the box and are not acting because of their fear of other people’s opinion. Your originality and courage can make a difference. Show that you believe in yourself and others will believe too.
Please share the post and write in a commentwhat is your own way to get inspiration? What are you doing to keep your mind up to your goals? Thank You so much!
“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet” Helen Keller
We are hunting for happiness, we are aiming higher, but still feeling unsatisfied and believing in a better tomorrow. Will I be satisfied when I will have a better house? Or a better work? Or maybe when I will have children? We think of our aim as a state of situation – that will last and keep us happy. When you get your goals at work, do you Stay satisfied? You get your satisfaction, but life goes on and you have other things to achieve. Happiness is a process.
The desire of happiness keeps us going
It keeps us going and changing things and produces our self-development. When we are Not Unhappy we let the things go on like they are. We fulfill our everyday life with what we already have and know. But at the moment of crisis, moment of the limit we explode, we want to change the order of things. This explosion forces us to think, to search to find the way out, to find solutions. Actually it is the UNHAPPINESS that pushes us to change the things towards happiness.
How to progress without the big explosion
How to progress without the big explosion? When you feel that things go wrong, go out with the discussion, talk to your partner, your family, talk out what’s wrong and the solution will come, because the solution will be born in your mind, it is already there just waits for your action. Don’t wait until you can’t stand the situation anymore.
Which moment the Unhappiness turns into Happiness
When you see the solution, you figure out the ways how to get there and make a decision to act according to your new idea. Now you are on your way to the Happiness. Your action makes you happy, because you have changed things and you know that you are on the good way.
Compromise happiness when not living alone?
There is not only our view that counts, we have our closest people around who live with the same ambition. When you and your partner have the same meanings of happiness, it is easy to move on. But what to do if your interests don’t match? Or worse – they make an opposition to each other?
A Global hobby
If you really can’t stand each other’s meaning of joy, it wouldn’t be reasonable to stay together. But if you are good together, you must find a solution any way. It won’t be fair to forbid your partner his hobbies or source of joy and not fair to give up yours as well. Sometimes one of us gives up doing his favorite things hoping that other one will do the same, but the partner is not ready for this kind of sacrifice. This can only ruin your relationship. Find a common aim for you to move on in the life, determine together how will you do it and you will be on your common way to happiness, you will have a ‘’global hobby’’ together. And what concerns your own sources of joy – plan your time the way that each of you have time to do his things, respect each other and your relationship will stay healthy.
How to keep your happiness?!
The time that you spend living and acting according to your views of happy life or fulfilling your aim with an appropriate action, you will keep yourself happy. One needs to have a variety of entertainment around to feel living a happy life. Another will be happy gardening every weekend, all depends on your view. Think about it – what makes you feel good and keep doing it. On your happiness will depend the happiness of the people that surround you, your work productivity and your health.
Please share the post and write in a comment or e-mail me – what is happiness for you. Really would like to see Your opinion! Thank You !
We now that our school hasn’t learned us to succeed so we are searching elsewhere… everywhere. After reading the self-help and self-improvement literature, many of us will try it out in different ways, but nothing actually changes. Even worse – more persistent you are, more miserable you can feel after – because they say that it’s so fucking easy to succeed: ’’When you imagine 1000,000 $ their almost yours’’ or ‘’the most important is to start and don’t let go…’’ Many of us are ready to everything to succeed and they believe that those glorious words from self-improvers will work… they can even spend a money to make it work…. but nothing. Why?!
Reading a motivating and helping literature doesn’t mean that you acquire the ability, skills or needed knowledge
You are just reading, entertaining yourself. Even if all advice is really useful, you have to ACTto make it WORK in your life. Reading that joyful literature won’t give you basic knowledge on the market, business or the particular skills that actually will determine if your projects are viable or not. Advises just motivate you to go, but you have to keep your head on the shoulders and figure out the right way to go.
The motivation authors have the role of cheer leaders
For example, you know that you will start a particular online selling business. The most important is to go back to business theories and see what you should find out on your competitors and their strategies. Than you have to find out if there is a raising demand on the market, the rate of prices and much more. All that will take you a lots of time and your research might show different results… maybe it will not be a viable project and you will have to restart your research in another domain.
They keep screaming: ‘’Go, go, you can do it’’, but all decision is yours, you are the player and the result will depend on your performance, not on the volume of the cheer leader’s voice.
Take your time and think
You should find at least some minutes at least once a week to sit down, close your eyes and concentrate on who you are, what you have and where you are going. It is important is to keep connection between what you are doing and what you are willing.
Concentrate exactly on your life plans or projects
First you need to think in whole – what is the aim, what looks like your dream come true. Than you have to think of your tasks in general what you have to do to get to your aim. Imagine clearly the things that you do to make it real. Than imagine what you will do today to move forward. And think if you give the best for it? This part is so fucking important because here you must give the directions to yourself… Motivation must stay with you all the time.
Thomas Edison said: ‘’Opportunity is missed by most of the people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like a work.’’ All this stuff is nothing if it cannot make you act!
Please share the post and write in a comment or e-mail me – what skills would you need to succeed? Thank You so much!
Have you been mad on yourself due to seeing all those people have houses, cars, they succeed in their business… and damn it! Why not me?! What does I don’t understand? Each time starting something soon you understand that it won’t WORK anyway, that it’s not good enough… You start one idea, then you prepare everything to start another…and another… each time you started so excited…, but once the preparing accomplished, you are scared and do not see yourself strong enough to propose it to people. What will they think? And what will they say? And the worse –what if they all will see how I fail!? Laozi said: ‘’ Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner’’. Stop worrying what others think, only you know what shell be done in your life – go for it!
There is a story from life
While I was doing a day job, some 10 years ago, I had very nice colleagues – man and woman with whom we had habits to celebrate birthdays together, to go out together and to share all the information in our circle. We kept in touch by seeing all the time, by phone, by messages, all my time was busy now. We all knew each other’s work and free time schedule, who is doing what which hour. So if I said that I cannot come out once with everyone, I had to invent a good reason.
At the beginning I saw it exciting, I was happy, but as it repeated constantly, I started to see that this group of persons are only interested in this being together itself, on clothes they wore for each time – to surprise others and to show out, to criticise others by the back. Even if the moments together were nice, all it seemed to me superficial and useless, I started to be sorry for the time that I spend with them but to stay good at my work I had to keep the relationship. I was even terrorized that my birthday approached and I had to invent a place where to celebrate it to surprise my colleagues (as everyone did), to buy new clothes and to organize a better party that one’s before…We worked well together, but all this out of work stuff was too much for me. Even worse… I started to feel imprisoned by them, under their control. I had my own additional professional plans and ideas to realize, but I felt blocked, I did not want my colleagues to know what will I do, because I knew that it will cause a jealousy and I will be observed very closely to not to skip the moment when I will make a mistake, when I fell… and so they could make a whole story out of it.
My right to freedom
Aristotle said about that ‘’There is only one way to avoid criticism – do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing’’ so I felt that I am nothing, a misery. I knew that I could go out of this prison but only by quitting that nice job and stopping seeing with them. It is not always simple to quit a job, knowing that you need an income anyway. Finally, I found another day job and I quit, so my dear colleagues let me go… little by little. I had regained my out of work time freedom! Finally, my telephone did not ring every hour and I had no obligations to go to their parties and tell ‘’what’s new in my life’’. Even I was wondering where from do I have so much time…?
At that time, I read already the self-improvement literature and knew that these are the wrong people for me and I had to get rid of them in my every day life. I knew as well that if I wanted to move on with my projects I must stop caring of what the other people will think. In my situation I could not just stop caring. These were real people in a real situation who asked me the questions and I could not afford to be rude with them… it is just not me to be bad with people around. So I had to make an action that is quite global to my life, to my profession and to my income – I had to quit the job to get rid of those people. Actually it was not even about my projects in particular, it was about my right to have a freedom.
It is all about scare of the judgement
Any way I felt the winner because I was free. Actually all this situation was about my feeling that my colleagues kept me busy by the things that are not worthy enough in my values system.
You want to do things but you don’t want to show yourself. You are a personality and if you do more things than an average person you will become seen and there is a chance that you will be criticized. It is the price to pay. Not all criticism is objective and meaningful. It might come from jealousy or just a habit to talk about others. These people don’t care about you, you shouldn’t care either. An American author Dr Seuss Geisel said very well: ‘’Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’’
Your ideas are more important, just get to the job now and ignore negative influences. If you have difficulties on this topic, write me an e-mail or just put it here in comments and we’ll get through it!
Please share the post and write in a comment – Do you care for people’s approval? Are they keeping you away from your projects? Thank You so much!
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