Would you die happy today?! You don’t know when your life journey ends.
You are a woman, a busy woman as the most of us. You have been at work all day, you have done the laundry, homework with kids, you have prepared the dinner and payed the last bills. Today you didn’t have time to clean your home and to rest. But it’s ok, weekend is coming, you’ll clean up after you’ll be done your second work the Saturday morning and after you’ll be taking kids to extracurricular activities. Maybe even you’ll go to see your friends the evening, just you’ll have to do some quick shopping before to have some to bring with you. And that’s not all…
You are happy when all is done and maybe Sunday you could sit down with your children on the coach. But maybe not this week.., because you have the new project and you have to review your homework before Monday?
Why all this? Is this the fault of your man who only works? Is this the society that makes you doing all of this? Are you happy to be at this rush? If you are in this situation, the answer is YES! It makes you happy! Or you think that you don’t have choice? You have the choice!
Do you know Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs in psychology? Physiological needs come first. One of our physical need is the rest. But we are turning the pyramid upside down. We, women will do all the other things before our comfort.
If you have ever taken the airplane you know the plane instructions in a case of crush; put on the life vest before putting it to children. That means that if you will put the vest to the children first, they may not survive too, because you will not survive. Probably. You’ll not be there to help them anymore.
You know actually why you are doing all this, hein? More you do, bigger will be the satisfaction when all your aims will be done. The Sunday evening you will sit down on the coach really satisfied. To restart your race the Monday… Is it worth of it? Of course not. So what to do?
Make your aims smaller and make a Sunday evening each day. If you won’t put your life vest at time, you’ll be lost. Maybe the house won’t be so clean and children won’t do so many sports. If you have a partner and you both work, cooking, laundry, bills and children are not only your responsibility. Even if he’s not so good as you at those things, it’s OK. Perfect is when you have time to rest. Turn back Your pyramid and enjoy the simple happiness. If you will not ask so much of yourself, you will ask less from others as well. Perfectionist time is done… for a cause.
Please share the post and write in a comment or e-mail me – what makes you happy. Really would like to see Your opinion! Thank You !
To have a good Back to School for the kids introduce some good Feng Shui tips in the interior of kid’s room. Changes will make the kid happy and stimulate good schooling habits. You can start by creating a nice ambiance.
Feng Shui in bref
Feng Shui is an art to link a persons life with his surroundings. Using Feng Shui advice you can create a harmony between the lifestyle and the environment. The theory is based on good and bad energy flows that you can control by organizing your environment. The aim is to get around all positive energy and to cancel all the negative. The good energy influences you in the best ways… To read more I suggest my previous article Best picks of Feng Shui for you.
How Feng Shui interior design can help our kids
Feng Shui interior design can help kids to improve in all priority areas – schooling, extracurricular (out of school’s) activities, relationship in the family, relationship in school. Feng Shui is a method to solve problems and difficulties. In the best case, study (homework doing) placement is in Northeast (NE) area of your home/ your room. If you can not use NE placement, just place a crystal on the NE of the kid’s desk. See the picture of Feng Shui bagua map – you can apply this map to the kids room. The entrance door is placed on Career’s wall. You should think of the placement of furniture in the room to create positive spaces where needed. The bases of Feng Shui is to keep the room clean and no messy, make sure that the kid keeps it in order or help him/ her with this. You should activate first the areas where your kid has difficulties, ex: behavior problems, bad notes in school ect.
Here are the tips to make the best out of Feng Shui:
No 1. Take all unnecessary things out of the room. Maybe there are too much furniture or toys. Put the toys, clothes and all kids stuff in wardrobes, shelves. The good energy loves empty, tidy and flat spaces. Of course, you can leave some decoration or favorite things – the kid still must love his/her’s room. Your task will be to place well these things in the room.
No 2. take in consideration three important Feng Shui bedroom tips:
First – never place the bed with direction – feet to door. It refers to an ancient belief that only the dead go out of the room with the feet first. This direction of bed attracts the bad energy.
Second – the person who lives in the room must freely see the entrance door from main position places. Don’t put the school desk with the sitting position with the back to door. The best if the chair has a position back to wall. Put the bed the way that he/she sees the door. These are elementary any room comfort rules.
Third – do not put mirrors in front of the entrance door. And do not put them the way that the kid can see himself/ herself from the bed. Feng Shui has a whole theory of mirrors, they have an important role. Mirrors can create a very good energy and lighten spaces while good placed. In front of the door the mirror ”fights away” the spirit of the person who enters the room – which is bad. Seeing yourself in the mirror from bad can ”scare your spirit” or soul when you wake up (suddenly the night or just in the morning). The person can be scared the first seconds seeing someone facing him/her. After you understand that it’s a reflection, but the first moments create negative energy.
No 3. Determine which areas in kids life you would like to stimulate. Put ”on” a bagua map to the room’s plan. I propose you a featured kid’s room bagua map that can help you to create the ideal room.
The main areas to stimulate are School, Family, Money, Achievements and Mentors. The room must have an empty space for free movement and playing which is the Health zone. Once you have activated needed areas, explain your kid in simple way that he/she must take care of each of them, keep them clean – to be successful in …. school, with friends, sports… you can make a habit to take care of these areas together and taking care of each of them will give you a reason to talk about the topic – that is how you can teach to think about important things in his/her life, give examples.
Put the desk in the school area. Desk must be clean and empty. Store books, block-notes and other stuff in the desk drawers and closets. Lots of stuff on the desk distract the kid from homework. Put a good desk lamp – it is important for child’s eyes as well as for having good notes at school. Good lightened areas attract a good Feng Shui. To attract even more success, place a nice crystal on the desk – best if it will be in the Northeast.
Make sure to put your family pictures in the Family area. Photos where you are together and happy. Here is a place for decoration or gifts that were made by or given by family members. All that reminds the family in a positive way. If the kid hasn’t good relations with some family member – brother, uncle… you can fix it by including their common pictures or a nice picture of that person between others. Don’t forger to lighten the area, keep it clean. You can put a mirror or crystals to get more energy here.
Teach the kid to be wise with money with the Money area. Put the kids piggy bank, add a crystal, keep the area clear and clean. Taking care of this area can be a reason of conversations between you about saving and spending. You can put wealth symbols as well – a plant – money tree. If you have an aquarium, the money area is the best place to put it. In Feng Shui aquarium with fish is one of the most powerful energy sources. It represents all 5 basic elements – earth, wood, metal, fire and water. It is a symbol of wealth.
Put photos of your kids Sports or arts achievements, medals – everything that reminds the moments of glory. Kid must feel proud and know that he has achieved that by his own work. Bring light to this area to help your kid to develop in sportive and creative areas. Activate this area if your kid don’t have enough of self confidence or it’s difficult for him/her to make friends.
People who inspire – here you can put quotes, books or pictures from people or personages who inspire your kid. Mentors can be family friends, or famous people from TV, authors or personages of books. It can be Winnie the Pooh with his famous quote “The most important thing is, even when we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.” Here you can remind the kid the wise thoughts and things you want him/her to remember. To activate this area use light, crystals and mirrors
The most important is taking care of created areas. Each time you do it and your kid does it, you remember the topic. Feng Shui is a way to bring success in certain areas and help to overcome difficulties. Try it out and you will see the result.
So I invite you to see some of my best Kid’s room design picks. Not necessary of Feng Shui, but just for inspiration:
Feng Shui is an art to link a persons life with his surroundings. Using Feng Shui advice you can create a harmony between your lifestyle and your environment. The theory is based on good and bad energy flows that you can control by organizing your environment. The aim is to get around all positive energy and to cancel all the negative. The good energy influences you in the best ways but the bad energy attracts a bad luck. Feng Shui has practical advice how to introduce harmony and it has a straight connection with well aired and tidy spaces.
Take the best for you without becoming a fanatic
More you read in theories, more complicated it becomes. My believe is that you don’t have to blindly follow one theory. You have the right to choose the best of what you have learned and build your own theory in your believes, in your mind. I found Feng Shui a useful way to connect my love to interior and my needs to improve things in my life. Every theories that you will believe in will work for you. This is the force of your mind. So by following Feng Shui methods you must be sure that they will work… it works for me. Here I propose you the Cherry on the Cake of Feng Shui:
No 1 Throw away all unnecessary things. All that you think that you will use one day but don’t use now. Get rid of everything that is broken, not good looking or dirty. Put all necessary things in their place, in the shelves. Do not store things under your bed, on the tables or on the wardrobes. The middle of the room must be empty. Do not leave dark corners or messy spaces. Imagine your room from the beginning – once it was empty and then you put just the necessary furniture. No tons of things anywhere. The good energy flows well on flat spaces. When it flows, it cleans away all bad energy on it’s way. Whereas messy surfaces, corners or mess on the floor accumulates the bad energy that installs and don’t let the positive energy to pass.
No 2 Keep your environment clean. Once you have no mess, it is easy to keep surfaces clean all the time. Many things everywhere take a lots of dust and take many time to clean. You don’t have many time to do that. The same principle on the floor and in the air. Open windows regularly. Dust, dirtiness and no aired spaces attract the negative energy as bad as messy rooms.
These are two main principles that help me to feel myself comfortable in my house, even without Feng Shui. You will see that in a clean, spacey room you will be able to work or study better. You will be able to concentrate well on your issues and will feel motivated. Before I start any computer-work I first get the good energy come in.
No 3 Use light to eliminate dark spaces in your room. Dark and lost corners accumulate the negative energy as well. To get a good flow of positive energy, bring a lot of light in your room. Always open the curtain during the daytime. Use lamps and candles during the dark time – to bring the maximum of light in your space. If needed, put additional lamps in the corners or mirrors that reflect the light and illuminate.
No 4 Use the theory of the 5 elements of Feng Shui. Theory is based on 5 elements of the nature – Earth, Metal, Water, Wood, Fire. You must get to know which element you are according to your year of birth. You can do it very quickly here. It applies the principle of Destructive and Productive cycle, please see the picture. In order to create successful spaces for yourself you must use the element that precedes you in the productive cycle and/or use your element. You must avoid elements that destructs you by the destructive cycle.
In the productive cycle:
From Earth you will dig Metal
Metal melts in Water
Water gives life to Wood
Wood burns in Fire
Fire settles ashes for Earth
In the destructive cycle:
Earth blocks the flow of Water
Water stops Fire
Fire melts Metal
Metal cuts Wood
Wood destroys Earth
For example, if your element is Water, you should avoid the earth elements that stops you (flowerpots with earth), you can use water itself (by putting aquarium, fountain or paintings/images with water) and the metal elements in your decoration because metal is the material that feeds you. You can use a trend of your element main colours (for ex. blue and gray for water and metal).
No 5 Use the Bagua map to create your interior. In Feng Shui your home or room is divided in 8 areas which represent the most important areas of your life. Please see the picture. When looking at your home’s or room’s plan, put on the Bagua map. The main entrance door is on the Career wall (by the simplified Feng Shui method). Now you can create your interior according these areas by the principles – if you want to ”activate” area of:
Career – put your work desk, telephone or any things that have a good meaning for your work and career in this area.
Knowledge, self-development – if you are studying you can put your desk here, keep here your study materials.
Family – put the family pictures, furniture or things that keeps you thinking of your family.
Wealth, prosperity – you can decorate here with the simbols of money for example some coins in a small metallic plate
Fame and reputation – you can put your sport’s achievement pictures, diploma, medals or other stuff that reminds you the most proud moments.
Relationships, marriage, love – if it is your bedroom, you should put your bed in this area. Remember to put it the way that it can be accessible from the both sides – that symbolically and directly allows to get into the bed the both partners. To decorate this area you can use love symbols, figurines with a pair of lovebirds, as well as symbolic or your own pictures.
Children – if you have ones… put their drawings or crafts here, your picture with them together to keep good relationship, to stay close with them.
Travel and helpful people – put the pictures and souvenirs from your travels and indications where you would like to go. Helpful people as mentors – you can put pictures of your mentors. They can be some of your fiends or family or famous people from who you would like to learn.
The Health center should stay empty to leave a place for you and for the positive energy to concentrate.
Now it’s up to you
Now you know the main principles and it’s up to you how to use them in your home. You can try to think of each area and decorate it according to Feng Shui, but there surely will be areas that are more important for you than others. You must pay a special attention to the important ones and activate them regularly. By activating your special area you think about it more, take care more and surely will get success. For example, if you have problems in your relationship or you have no partner and are looking for, your most important area will be the Relationship area. To activate any of areas you can put candles, en-kindle them every evening creating more live light to the area. Also you can put crystals and mirrors that give more light. Keep the area clean and nice. If you have some trouble with your kids, they don’t listen to you for example, you may activate Children area and you can spend here some time with them – reading together or chatting.
Here and today my mission was to guide you to the magic Feng Shui world that can become a part of your lifestyle. I find it beautiful because it is a nice way how to remind yourself of the important things in the everyday life. It is just a method to keep yourself concentrated. If you find Feng Shui interesting, do not hesitate to make me questions in comments down here or by contacting me directly.
Further reading that can propose you more in depth and precise things to follow in Feng Shui:
Create a home that motivates you and you will get inspiration every day! See interior design as a part of your active life. It is Your house, apartment or room – and You are able to create what’s in it. The best moments in my life are moving into a new house or apartment and choosing the furniture, floor and all accessories around. Even if you have a budget to respect, this is the moment when you create your space to live in. On that will depend how you will feel every day. If you will choose beautiful things to look at, you will feel beautiful too.
I will tell you by a secret that me and my husband we love to change furniture placement or even switch rooms with our children, to make a difference. Even if we are not changing the house, and not buying new furniture, we are just changing the looks.
Always aim higher
Always aim higher when choosing your home looks. I start by looking luxury interiors to give myself an idea what is the best. Even if I will never afford them, I see trends and put ideas together with my own requirements. You see how different materials, colors and lights change the whole ambiance. When you will choose your furniture, you will see better how to combine different looks to get the best result.
Bring your personal values into your interior
You should see interior as a part of your active life. It must be functional, practical and remind you the most important values of your life. A home is not a museum. Bring in it your heart. I mean to think about – your family, love, your career. Many years ago I have found the Chinese method of harmonizing your surroundings – Feng Shui. I am not the fanatic of it to calculate each corner according it’s rules. But as I was interested in it, I learn their theory and took the best for me. If you are interested in more content of my interpretation of Feng Shui, I invite you to follow my blog, and read the article Best picks of Feng Shuifor You. In brief the theory is based on creating well aired, light, no messy, tidy spaces. And it proposes you to divide your living space in areas which represents certain aspects of your life (family, love career etc.) To be successful in each of them, you have to take a regular care of these areas.
The most important that I learned from Feng Shui – it invites you to keep in mind your general topics all the time. In our everyday life we work, we do things quickly and often forget to take care of the most important. Let’s say that by introducing your important aspects in your interior you keep them visual behind your eyes all the time. It is a little bit like self-improvement authors advice sometimes to wright down some important quotes or even your aims on a paper and put it like a huge poster in your room. Every morning when you wake up, you read the words and keep concentrated on them.
Me with my family have a project to create us a new space of living. I’m so excited about it. So I invite you to see some of my best kitchen picks:
If you know exactly what you want, but can’t start, here’s what I want you to do: Stop searching and reading, get to the job! And you must get it done today, at least… it must begin today.
You are original and you must do it on your own way
First you have to try it out and do some further research after – if needed. Why? Because inspiring by others is a great source of ideas but it sets your limits by ideas of other people. You are risking to loose your own originality. You risk to box yourself into existing and don’t let your genius break the borders. If you look back in history – every inventor, new genius broke the limits, they were first considered as a foolish. No matters what you are up to, remember – You are original and you must do it on your own way. Because you will not sell one more copy of already existing. The market of today is overloaded.
The second is not to be afraid to be a fool. Being a fool for ones means being a genius for others. That’s the old brakes that keep plenty of people away from their dreams – being afraid of what others will say.
Believe in yourself
I remember myself in such situations when I was scared of opinion of others and was ready to stop all action immediately. I had this feeling because I did not believe in myself. Even if I knew that it is not hard to do, I thought ”my God, what will they think, they will look at me as to an idiot”. I did not realize that All situation depends on perception. It depends ”how you sell the thing.”
You have the only ability to guide your life path. There is no other person who can make the good decision in your place – only in a case if you let it be. Don’t do it, take your life in your hands and concentrate on what shall be done, do it without hesitation. You are the writer of your history, instead of thinking of what others think, make sure not to disappoint yourself.
Let’s see an example: imagine, if you would be a real estate agent (with all stereotypes that it incorporates), people will come to you because they can’t find their house in another way. If you will talk to them in a small voice, tell only the facts and numbers, won’t be confident in yourself they will count it unprofessional, will think that you are there only to get your percent, and they will leave you as soon as possible to see another agent. If you will be able to sell them a whole story of a nice area, let them understand that you will guide them in this occasion, help with a professional advice, they will believe in you, they will see that you don’t take your percent for nothing. Even better, if earlier they might have any negative opinion on your profession, now they would be glad to meet you. You see that in these two situations the result of What people think of you – is crucial – to get the deal or not. But all the difference is in your attitude and choice – being self-confident or not. Staying in the right profession or not…
Others will believe too
So remember to get your inspiration on your own way and get started immediately. So many people don’t see outside the box and are not acting because of their fear of other people’s opinion. Your originality and courage can make a difference. Show that you believe in yourself and others will believe too.
Please share the post and write in a commentwhat is your own way to get inspiration? What are you doing to keep your mind up to your goals? Thank You so much!
We now that our school hasn’t learned us to succeed so we are searching elsewhere… everywhere. After reading the self-help and self-improvement literature, many of us will try it out in different ways, but nothing actually changes. Even worse – more persistent you are, more miserable you can feel after – because they say that it’s so fucking easy to succeed: ’’When you imagine 1000,000 $ their almost yours’’ or ‘’the most important is to start and don’t let go…’’ Many of us are ready to everything to succeed and they believe that those glorious words from self-improvers will work… they can even spend a money to make it work…. but nothing. Why?!
Reading a motivating and helping literature doesn’t mean that you acquire the ability, skills or needed knowledge
You are just reading, entertaining yourself. Even if all advice is really useful, you have to ACTto make it WORK in your life. Reading that joyful literature won’t give you basic knowledge on the market, business or the particular skills that actually will determine if your projects are viable or not. Advises just motivate you to go, but you have to keep your head on the shoulders and figure out the right way to go.
The motivation authors have the role of cheer leaders
For example, you know that you will start a particular online selling business. The most important is to go back to business theories and see what you should find out on your competitors and their strategies. Than you have to find out if there is a raising demand on the market, the rate of prices and much more. All that will take you a lots of time and your research might show different results… maybe it will not be a viable project and you will have to restart your research in another domain.
They keep screaming: ‘’Go, go, you can do it’’, but all decision is yours, you are the player and the result will depend on your performance, not on the volume of the cheer leader’s voice.
Take your time and think
You should find at least some minutes at least once a week to sit down, close your eyes and concentrate on who you are, what you have and where you are going. It is important is to keep connection between what you are doing and what you are willing.
Concentrate exactly on your life plans or projects
First you need to think in whole – what is the aim, what looks like your dream come true. Than you have to think of your tasks in general what you have to do to get to your aim. Imagine clearly the things that you do to make it real. Than imagine what you will do today to move forward. And think if you give the best for it? This part is so fucking important because here you must give the directions to yourself… Motivation must stay with you all the time.
Thomas Edison said: ‘’Opportunity is missed by most of the people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like a work.’’ All this stuff is nothing if it cannot make you act!
Please share the post and write in a comment or e-mail me – what skills would you need to succeed? Thank You so much!
Have you been mad on yourself due to seeing all those people have houses, cars, they succeed in their business… and damn it! Why not me?! What does I don’t understand? Each time starting something soon you understand that it won’t WORK anyway, that it’s not good enough… You start one idea, then you prepare everything to start another…and another… each time you started so excited…, but once the preparing accomplished, you are scared and do not see yourself strong enough to propose it to people. What will they think? And what will they say? And the worse –what if they all will see how I fail!? Laozi said: ‘’ Care about people’s approval, and you will always be their prisoner’’. Stop worrying what others think, only you know what shell be done in your life – go for it!
There is a story from life
While I was doing a day job, some 10 years ago, I had very nice colleagues – man and woman with whom we had habits to celebrate birthdays together, to go out together and to share all the information in our circle. We kept in touch by seeing all the time, by phone, by messages, all my time was busy now. We all knew each other’s work and free time schedule, who is doing what which hour. So if I said that I cannot come out once with everyone, I had to invent a good reason.
At the beginning I saw it exciting, I was happy, but as it repeated constantly, I started to see that this group of persons are only interested in this being together itself, on clothes they wore for each time – to surprise others and to show out, to criticise others by the back. Even if the moments together were nice, all it seemed to me superficial and useless, I started to be sorry for the time that I spend with them but to stay good at my work I had to keep the relationship. I was even terrorized that my birthday approached and I had to invent a place where to celebrate it to surprise my colleagues (as everyone did), to buy new clothes and to organize a better party that one’s before…We worked well together, but all this out of work stuff was too much for me. Even worse… I started to feel imprisoned by them, under their control. I had my own additional professional plans and ideas to realize, but I felt blocked, I did not want my colleagues to know what will I do, because I knew that it will cause a jealousy and I will be observed very closely to not to skip the moment when I will make a mistake, when I fell… and so they could make a whole story out of it.
My right to freedom
Aristotle said about that ‘’There is only one way to avoid criticism – do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing’’ so I felt that I am nothing, a misery. I knew that I could go out of this prison but only by quitting that nice job and stopping seeing with them. It is not always simple to quit a job, knowing that you need an income anyway. Finally, I found another day job and I quit, so my dear colleagues let me go… little by little. I had regained my out of work time freedom! Finally, my telephone did not ring every hour and I had no obligations to go to their parties and tell ‘’what’s new in my life’’. Even I was wondering where from do I have so much time…?
At that time, I read already the self-improvement literature and knew that these are the wrong people for me and I had to get rid of them in my every day life. I knew as well that if I wanted to move on with my projects I must stop caring of what the other people will think. In my situation I could not just stop caring. These were real people in a real situation who asked me the questions and I could not afford to be rude with them… it is just not me to be bad with people around. So I had to make an action that is quite global to my life, to my profession and to my income – I had to quit the job to get rid of those people. Actually it was not even about my projects in particular, it was about my right to have a freedom.
It is all about scare of the judgement
Any way I felt the winner because I was free. Actually all this situation was about my feeling that my colleagues kept me busy by the things that are not worthy enough in my values system.
You want to do things but you don’t want to show yourself. You are a personality and if you do more things than an average person you will become seen and there is a chance that you will be criticized. It is the price to pay. Not all criticism is objective and meaningful. It might come from jealousy or just a habit to talk about others. These people don’t care about you, you shouldn’t care either. An American author Dr Seuss Geisel said very well: ‘’Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’’
Your ideas are more important, just get to the job now and ignore negative influences. If you have difficulties on this topic, write me an e-mail or just put it here in comments and we’ll get through it!
Please share the post and write in a comment – Do you care for people’s approval? Are they keeping you away from your projects? Thank You so much!
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